Angry protesters clashed with other angry protesters through the night last night on virgin social networking game, World of Warcraft.
Virgins were furious at the news that a 13-year-old boy became the UK's youngest father yesterday, having knocked up the girl at 12-years-old when they "can't even get a sugaring look-in".
The Sun newspaper on Saturday, reported on the story of 13-year-old Alfie Patten fathering a child with a girl of 15.
"I couldn't believe my ears when I heard this outrage," said Mike Hicksburg, a 24-year-old virgin from Stockport. "For eight hours a night, I run around in my game, trying desperately to find a maiden to rescue, and all this time, a boy half my age has been boinking this wench. And a fricking good looking one at that, she actually looks like a creature from World of Warcraft."
The riots started at around 6 pm last night when most users have finished eating their Findas Crispy Pancakes & chips, and went long into the night erupting again at around 4 pm this afternoon.
It was reported that magical mayhem had spread all over the popular gaming site for the not-so-popular with virtual pillaging of fantasy villages widespread.
"It was awful," said an innocent witness to the rioting. "I just logged on to have a quick nine hour session on the Internet when a dragon swooped down and breathed fire at me. I was unaware at the news that this boy had lost his virginity, but when I found out by golly, the word 'drat' actually came out of my mouth, I saw red, I had no idea I was capable of that kind of hocus pocus."
Meanwhile, in the real world, parents and politicians alike have reacted in anger at the fact that a young boy be allowed to have unprotected sex with a creature so hideous.
Richard Doberdean, a local politician in Reading said: "it is a reflection on our standards as a sexual being, that a boy stoop so low as to sleep with such a wrong'un." Adding: "Honestly, I saw a photo of this girl and sicked up a bit."
Riots on World of Warcraft are expected to calm as tomorrow is a school day, and mums will be sending nerds to bed left, right, and centre.
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