Fat people are quite partial to a plate or two of chips, regardless of how fat they don't want to be, according to new research published on Monday.
Researchers have spent the last two years studying why fat people are prone to being fat, and came to the conclusion that they love food, especially chips, and not just eating them either, the smell and the feel of them.
The government has long been worried about rising levels of obesity in the UK, and now finally have an answer to why people are getting so heavily loaded on cholesterol.
The news comes a day after McDonald's practically pissed in a cup, left it for a month, then opened the cup, dipped its fingers in and began flicking stale urine in the face of the credit crunch whilst dancing round it singing "neh neh neh neh neh neh" on Monday as it announced that sales were up 7.1 percent.
"We've been studying these chubsters for ages," said scientist Dr. Hicksburg, of the Lard Lovers institute in Croydon. "Turns out, they just love to eat, and what goes well with eating stuff? That's right, chips! You can have chips with almost anything, our national dish is fish & chips, there's also pie & chips, burger & chips,Cheese on chips, gravy & chips, pie & chips did I already say that one? Doesn't matter, its that good a meal it deserves to be in twice. Salad & chips, sausage & chips, egg & chips..." added Hicksburg before as our reporter slowly edged out of the room and headed down to the local Harry Ramsden's for a plate of potatoes soaked in grease.
The next batch of research to be commissioned by the institute will look into why fat people hate exercise so much. Results are expected on Thursday morning.
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