Boro fans told to sit down and shut the fuck up

"Some of us are trying to be tired and emotional," Pre-menstrual bitch tells angry supporters

A representative of Middlesbrough Football Club has angered its supporters by telling them all to sit down and shut the fuck up.

In a clearly pre-menstrual letter to supporters seated in the North Stand, Sue Watson, Safety Officer for the Riverside stadium, has angered supporters by telling them: "listen, I know its a football match, and you're all excited that Middlesbrough might actually show up and score a goal, and you want to encourage them because lets face it, they need all the help they can get, but for fuck's sake, do it quietly."

She went on to explain "when we played Wigan on Saturday, there was someone banging on the panel at the back the ENTIRE! FUCKING! GAME! I'm already feeling bloated, I don't need a bastard headache as well. If I ever find you, you better watch your back, your mother will weep when she see's what I've done to you."

Boro fans reacted angrily with many supporters calling for Watson to "Stiiiiiickk your letter up your arse... stiiiiiick your leeeetter up your arse."

James Hicksburg, a Boro fan from Billingham said: "this is why women shouldn't go to football games, unless they're making the half time butties. Seriously, her husband should be shot for letting her out of the kitchen in the first place. She has a face like an autistic rabbit
anyways."

"I remember the days at Ayresome Park, women weren't allowed in there, we never had any bother," he continued.

However, one fan from the Berwick Hills, supported the decision. Stanley, who did not wish to give his last name for fear of reprisals said "hold on a minute, she may be a woman, but she has got a point, of which we don't have many. Take Old Trafford for example, you go there on a
match day and you can hear an ant fart at the other end of the stadium its that quiet and they won the league last year. We make more noise than 10,000 tired, cranky toddlers on cocaine, and we're shite, maybe we should give the silence thing a go."

Watson's husband, Damion, has reportedly sent a follow up letter to all fans who received the original asking "what the fuck did you boy's do on Saturday? Normally this time of the month she's a little bit whingey, but holy shit she was pissed off, it feels like I'm living with Satan himself at the mo, I had to make my own beans on toast last night. Man-to-man, I beg you to sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up, just for a week or so lads, please, I can't spend another night on that couch, its leather and you know how leather sticks to your arse."

The letter goes on to add: "Oh and by the way James nail on the head there mate about the rabbit but she makes a mean Parmo, if you think she looks bad though, you should see her mother, she looks the same, but cross-bread with a spastic camel."

Environmental officers have been sent in to investigate how so few people can make that much noise it caused the bitch to complain in the first place.