God to smite UK like its never been smotten before

"You've really pissed him off this time," claims extremist preacher

The UK has been damned to the depths of hell and blah blah blah, according to the Westboro Baptist Church, in the US.

The church, which regularly pickets funerals of US soldiers killed in Iraq, has been banned from entering the UK this month to picket a play about a man who is killed for being gay, 'The Laramie Project'.

Fred Phelps, and his daughter, Shirley Phelps-Roper, had planned to come over to picket the staging of the play at Queen Mary's College in Baskingstoke but were told by British authorities the could "actually fuck right off, like right off so far, so so far, so so so far that they would actually fall off the earth, that's how far they can fuck off."

Mrs Phelps-Roper, when contacted said "you can try and stop us coming over, but there are lots of us without the name Phelps, there's all different names coming over like Jones and Hicksburg, and unless they stop everyone with those names who comes over from Topeka, Kansas on flight AV 007 on February the 24th and asks them what God thinks of fags, there is no way they can stop us getting through."

A spokesman for Heathrow airport said: "seriously, spotting one of these freaks is easier than finding Wally in a 'Where's Wally' book, where all the pages are blank, except for a picture of Wally, and someone has circled him, and put an arrow pointing to the circle saying 'here he is'."

The Church's website had a posting on Friday, announcing the picket saying:
"In merry old England they plan to further enrage the living God by putting on the farce known commonly as The Laramie Project. We will picket them, and see if they actually believe those lies they tell about how tolerant and accepting Brits are."

The spokesman went on to add: "they really must know fuck all about England, as Basingstoke in particular, is in no way 'merry', its a shit hole in fact. I tell you what if the living God was enraged, it would probably be because of Baskingstoke it's self, not because of anything else."

Constable Alex Doberdean from the Hampshire police announced that they are on full alert for "not giving a wet turd," and that "any crazies could be dealt with by the local scall's and we still wouldn't give a flying fornication."

God had no comment on the issue.