Lady GaGa has 'never actually played poker'

"No wonder you can't read her bastard poker face, she doesn't sodding have one," says music industry expert

Chart topping singer Lady GaGa caused uproar in the music community today when an undercover investigation revealed that she has never actually played poker.

The shocking discovery was made when an industry insider challenged the singer to a game of Texas Hold'em and when she sat down informed them that they would have to explain the rules to her.

"I asked if she fancied a round of Hold'em with me and my friends since she claimed her poker face was so good," said whistle blower Randy Hicksburgh, "she asked what I meant by this, I thought it strange at first but then dismissed it thinking that maybe she was just a 'stud', or 'straight' poker kinda gal. Turns out the lying bitch has never touched a deck of cards in her fucking life!"

"That just enraged me, I've been playing poker for ten years, I've played with the best in the biz, and for someone to blatantly throw around claims that her poker face is better than Gus 'The Great Dane' Hansen's is just downright disrespectful to all involved in the game."

The lyrics from the song entitled 'poker face', clearly state "can't read my, can't read my, no he can't read my poker face," and later in the song go on to add "P-p-p-poker face, P-p-p-poker face mum mum mum mah P-p-p-poker face, P-p-p-poker face," in a blatant taunting of a fictional opponent.

However, these claims were blown out of the water by Hicksburgh, and she is now suffering the backlash from this miscarriage of justice, which threaten to derail her quest for total domination of the music world.

The revelation has caused a public outcry for the singer to be stripped of her number one position in the charts from professionals within the music industry, as well as the gambling community in countries all over the world.

Distraught Lady GaGa fans were being comforted by relatives today, with school attendance at its lowest since Wednesday the 14th of February, 1996, the day after Take That announced they were disbanding.

"Its made me question the value of all songs in the music industry," claimed one distraught fan from Leeds through tears. "Next you'll be telling me that it does actually matter to Michael Jackson about your racial status, Prodigy are not the arsonists that they claim to be, or that Right Said Fred is actually the appropriate proportion of sexy for his shirt, and that it doesn't really cause him any form of physical pain whatsoever."